Wednesday, February 22, 2006

It Shall Be Known

I was not accepted into the graduate program at OSU.

I do not have a "plan B."

I am not happy right now.


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Hollow Thud

What happened? Seriously, what happened? I know I've been alive the past few days, but I don't think I was actually there. I worked, I danced, I... am empty.

This weekend totally sucked starting Friday. I worked all day all three days, worked my ass off Saturday and Sunday. I had time both Friday and Saturday nights to go out and do something - time and money to do something. But no one called. Now I understand the world doesn't revolve around me and that people are busy... I'm getting awfully tired of being the one to IM first.

To top everything off, one of my favorite new residents passed away last week. More than anything, I will miss making him smile and laugh in the mornings. I will miss hearing him yell after me as I run back to work, "you're a good kid, you know that, a real good kid." :) Love, loss, and more love... such is my life.

Sunday night was the masquerade. I got off work at 2pm in Lebanon, was back in town and home from the craft store by 4pm. I crafted my own hair ribbons and corsage to match my dress for the event, did my own hair and make-up too... The good news: I looked quite nice; not over or under dressed, just perfect. The bad news: the only compliment I received all night was from a girl... and I thinks she was hitting on me. I had a good time dancing. If only I could do more or a better job... the fault there lies with me. Swing dancing isn't so bad either - until I start backleading and boys gets mad. :P But that never happens. Salsa isn't too bad, but elementary indeed. I think I'm throwing in the towel on nightclub stuff... the "slowly spinning high school prom sway" and the "step, together, step, together, step, etc." of middle school dances are both more fun than nightclub dancing. A part of me really wants to do the "high school circle-sway" dance at one of the ballroom events just to see how many people stop and stare. *evil grin*

I knew I'd love dancing. I knew I'd get bored in class with the lessons moving so slowly. Note to self: when bored, think pedagogically, not just about boredom. If you can't teach it, you don't know it.

I'm the best friend you could have. I'll drop anything for anyone if they really need it. But if you ask for my help, and I agree to help you, then you drop me flat because something else beckons your time (and this something else is NOT important), FORGET YOU. My time is important to me, and you are important to me, and your knowledge and understanding is important to me, but you leaving me in dust for no good reason is NOT high on my list.

Oh, yeah, about all that free time I had this weekend... I remembered why I hate that much free time... oh I remembered it quite clearly at 8am when everyone else had their projects done for class and I was like... uh... shit. No project for me. Talk about that hollow *thud* sound... I knew I forgot something... oh well. I'll just say I left it on my printer at home. :) And it's not like I can get an A in that class with the way the professor doesn't like me as it is. TWO major projects to get through this week now, lucky me. My own damn fault.

I'm so empty right now, I'm going to go clean the bathroom.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

In the Thick of It

So things have been crazy, but they've also been mighty good lately too.

Saturday morning - I drove up to Monmouth to get lost before finding the random building I had to take my CBEST test in... the test covered basic skills in math, reading comprehension, and writing. My roommate helped me out with the math the day before so I felt confident. Until they told me I couldn't use my calculator. Yeah, I blitzed the math section so fast... it was basic math and I just did it longhand anyway. My essays were short and sweet, hopefully I did well on them. Yeah... so much fun.

Rachel and Emily met some people in Australia when they were on exchange a few terms past - one of their friends from there came up and stayed with us from Friday to today. He is a nice fellow. Rachel and I took him up the coast Monday... Tillamook Cheese Factory and out to Gleneden Beach south of Lincoln City. Apparently the water here was cold (*no freaking DUH!*); I wouldn't know, I'm too smart to get in it after 22 years of coast trips. We had a great time though. I learned a few new words and can speak with a passing Aussie accent (okay, I'd fool you, but I can't fool Ian).

Tuesday: ACK! St. Valentine's Day! or otherwise known as "Singles Awareness Day" to some. I went to my first class and had a blast learning about buoyancy. My second class was canceled... I sat around for three hours before my Art midterm (which was a total joke - so easy! ha, now watch me fail ;) Sat around for another hour before my dance class - got my toes stepped on literally right and left because the boys were pushing me too far to be able to hold my balance as I'm Tango-ing backward around the floor. Stupid boys. Stupid day waiting and waiting. Decided against waiting another hour for my last class to start, so I just turned in my paper early and went home. Yay for skipping stupid classes!

And then there are my papers for class... one paper due every class period for my SED413 class. I'm so freakin' tired of these stupid papers! "Read this article, write a paper." "Read two articles and write a paper comparing them." At least give me good articles to read. SED407 has three papers as well. Two MAJOR papers for SED409 (but there is no other homework so it's not so bad). Paper for my dance class. Thank God no other papers... I just want a term with no more papers!!! Between the this term and the last two, I've written almost SEVENTY papers. Who does that?! And they're not all short - at least nine of them have been 10-15 pagers... zzzzzzzzzzzz

I bore myself.

Going dancing tonight after some homeworking and dinner. I'm off to find some bread.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


I'd like to take a moment to reflect on my blog and to comment about it's "rating." If you have read any of my posts, you might notice that I don't really censor myself. Alternatively, I will have serious posts that ask tough questions. My thinking is that this blog isn't going to be your standard "G-rated," appropriate for everyone blog. I was thinking (and yeah, here it comes) that my blog is more "G-rated," meaning "Grandma-rated." This blog is a great place for me to discuss things I could talk about with my grandma. Which means I can use intelligence and sophistication, thinking above a "general audience, hand-fed soundbyte" theme. Oooh, and since Grandma can swear, I can swear. But... there are some things ya just don't talk to Grandma about... and I won't be putting that kind of stuff up here. So yeah. This blog is "G-rated," meaning "Grandma-rated." :P And if you don't like it, take it up with my grandma.

Monday, February 06, 2006

A Case of the Mondays

Grad school interview did not go well today - at least, not as well as I wanted. The interview questions were both predictable and very odd. The first question, "Why do you want to be a teacher?" was entirely expected. Unfortunately, I totally blanked on my primary reason! GRR. I hope they still consider me an asset to the school and that I can continue my education at Oregon State after my undergrad degree terminates this spring.

Crazy week this week: a midterm, a presentation, five papers due, student-teaching in the evening one night, plus the dreaded CBEST test this coming Saturday. Not only do I have all of that to do, but I still have regular classes, all of my other student teaching, and work. Shoot me now, please!

Not much else to say... I'm stressed and tired, but still moving around. Must get to sleep so I can get up and do this all over again tomorrow.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Swingin' to the Beat

Wow, this post comes at the end of my fourth week of my second-to-last term as an undergrad. Phew! Four weeks? Is it possible? I haven't cracked a book yet, but I've written quite a few papers to make up for the lack of reading. Don't get me wrong, I read my own books all the time (mostly in Evolution or Art when I'm not napping).

A note about napping in class: When I was in high school, sleeping in class was impossible. In all my years in public school, I only fell completely asleep once. In French 4. Which means most of my class was either sleeping or at 7-11 getting slurpees. But in college, a miraculous thing happened to me: I am now able to cat-nap through almost any lecture. I think it all started my junior year in Peavy 130... man, the back row is mighty comfy. And 8am biology or anatomy lectures in Milam Auditorium with those big, cushy red velvet seats... oh that's good sleeping right there. So now, in Evolution 345 and Art 101, I am able to instantly doze off into that glorious place where I can just hear the professor droning on about stuff I already know and still have my mind wandering around all by its lonesome. Good times. Until my arms fall asleep on my desk. Not good times. :)

Classes are actually going pretty well right now. SED413 (Science Materials and Laboratories) is challenging. I'm supposed to be learning how to create a fun and inquiry-based science lab/classroom. Mostly, I'm just learning how to B/S my way through crappy reading and writing mindless drivel about the crappy reading. Z345 (Intro to Evolution) is horrible. I love the subject of Evolution, but the professor... oh dear. Imagine Cousin It with no bangs and a V-shaped unibrow larger than a seagull. Couple that with stories about weird things that I will not go into because they completely grossed me out, and then top it off with "you know," "right," "okay," "robust," "um," and "sort of." Now you know why I sleep or read through class. :P ART101 (I'll give you one guess what that class is about) is not too bad. I get bored pretty fast since I had so much art in high school (I miss you Mrs. Freeman and Mr. Quigley!) - design elements and priciples are nothing new to me. But the prof is a good instructor and tries to keep things fun. So I only sleep half the time. ;) PAC159 (Ballroom I) has been a mixed blessing. I'm learning how to dance! Will write more later. SED407 (I have no idea what the purpose of this class is or what it is called, but they give us toys and candy every Tuesday so I don't complain and that's all I know about it). And SED409, my student-teaching practicum is going well too. I'm well-versed now in paper-correcting and grade-entering techniques. Long live the mighty rock... er, geology!

Had an interesting conversation with a total stranger in the MU today while I was eating lunch. She was playing a zoo tycoon game on her laptop while I was talking to my sister on my phone. The girl heard me ask Whit for a copy of Sims2. After I got off the phone, the girl and I had a lengthy conversation about simulation games and our shared addition to The Sims. Yay geeks!

Dancing: Oh the joy, oh the frustration, oh the fun! I have always loved dancing, but my experiences are limited at best. Prior to Ballroom I, I did not have any lessons or instruction. From the first day, I had boys asking me if I had danced before. No. I have not. Four weeks later, same question. Answer: still no. Learn it already. I take it as a compliment, but it's still sort of frustrating to be asked that question by every boy every time I dance with him. Otherwise, when I'm not having to backlead a guy across the floor, I'm having a great time learning and moving to some awesome music.

And THE Dance! Last Saturday night I went to the semi-formal ballroom dance at the MU with my roommate and guy-friend (we're still in title negotiations, other long story). We learned how to salsa dance in the lesson prior to the actual dance. Later in the evening, I was waltzing, swing dancing, doing the tango and foxtrot, cha cha, merengue, and more salsa! I learned most of them on the spot with no previous instructions - and I had a GREAT time! A great partner accounts for 98% of the great time - and for that I do thank him. :)

Just swingin' to the beat... trying to keep up with the music and everyone else. :)