Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Hollow Thud

What happened? Seriously, what happened? I know I've been alive the past few days, but I don't think I was actually there. I worked, I danced, I... am empty.

This weekend totally sucked starting Friday. I worked all day all three days, worked my ass off Saturday and Sunday. I had time both Friday and Saturday nights to go out and do something - time and money to do something. But no one called. Now I understand the world doesn't revolve around me and that people are busy... I'm getting awfully tired of being the one to IM first.

To top everything off, one of my favorite new residents passed away last week. More than anything, I will miss making him smile and laugh in the mornings. I will miss hearing him yell after me as I run back to work, "you're a good kid, you know that, a real good kid." :) Love, loss, and more love... such is my life.

Sunday night was the masquerade. I got off work at 2pm in Lebanon, was back in town and home from the craft store by 4pm. I crafted my own hair ribbons and corsage to match my dress for the event, did my own hair and make-up too... The good news: I looked quite nice; not over or under dressed, just perfect. The bad news: the only compliment I received all night was from a girl... and I thinks she was hitting on me. I had a good time dancing. If only I could do more or a better job... the fault there lies with me. Swing dancing isn't so bad either - until I start backleading and boys gets mad. :P But that never happens. Salsa isn't too bad, but elementary indeed. I think I'm throwing in the towel on nightclub stuff... the "slowly spinning high school prom sway" and the "step, together, step, together, step, etc." of middle school dances are both more fun than nightclub dancing. A part of me really wants to do the "high school circle-sway" dance at one of the ballroom events just to see how many people stop and stare. *evil grin*

I knew I'd love dancing. I knew I'd get bored in class with the lessons moving so slowly. Note to self: when bored, think pedagogically, not just about boredom. If you can't teach it, you don't know it.

I'm the best friend you could have. I'll drop anything for anyone if they really need it. But if you ask for my help, and I agree to help you, then you drop me flat because something else beckons your time (and this something else is NOT important), FORGET YOU. My time is important to me, and you are important to me, and your knowledge and understanding is important to me, but you leaving me in dust for no good reason is NOT high on my list.

Oh, yeah, about all that free time I had this weekend... I remembered why I hate that much free time... oh I remembered it quite clearly at 8am when everyone else had their projects done for class and I was like... uh... shit. No project for me. Talk about that hollow *thud* sound... I knew I forgot something... oh well. I'll just say I left it on my printer at home. :) And it's not like I can get an A in that class with the way the professor doesn't like me as it is. TWO major projects to get through this week now, lucky me. My own damn fault.

I'm so empty right now, I'm going to go clean the bathroom.

1 comment:

Jeff Waddell said...

Oh man, I hear that equation stuff. It'll turn out ok, you have friends that love you :) I'm a firm believer that good things happen to those that are lovable.