Thursday, April 20, 2006

Stress and Trying Something Different

I don't like running. I don't like being outside. I don't do bugs or the sun or water. I don't like being active, I don't like working out, and I most definitely do not like running. But I like to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do sometimes. Which explains why I get into the water, go Geocaching, and go on insane runs through the forest. Sometimes getting out of my ruts makes me feel better. Other times, I do things I ordinarily wouldn't do to just to do something different. When I get stressed mentally or emotionally, I try to work through it quickly else I stew and get even more stressed. Doing something physical ties up my hands so that my mind may work over what it needs to. Sometimes. I don't cry, or rarely at all and only over serious issues (if I'm crying, something is really wrong).

I've been kinda stressed this week, and I thought dancing would help, but it only seemed to make things worse. So I went hiking. I'm already chronically dehydrated (long story, but it's not worth telling). Six hours of dancing and a sufficiently challenging hike yesterday should have done me in, but when I got home at 10:30pm, all I wanted to do was go out and run. Don't ask me why. I'm not the genius behind my own insanity :P I seriously considered going out in the dark for a run, but somewhere between my desk and the front door I decided against it. Forced down some water and went to bed. Slept poorly. Can't focus on anything. Still stressed, even more so.

I don't know what to do. Nobody to talk to--the words don't exist, nor could anyone help even if they did. Maybe I will blog about this once I have it sorted out. Until next time... I'm going to go try something different.

1 comment:

sevenofsix said...

I hope I don't taint this by adding the only comment, but I totally understand where you're coming from. Every so often I get the urge to go on a midnight run. However, it was a good call on withholding your urge. Its not the safest thing to do.