Thursday, May 11, 2006


I do not like stairs.

I have never liked stairs.

Allow me to explain: stairs represent the path one must travel to reach a higher or lower elevation on a walkway, generally inside a building, but also found in other places. I have acrophobia. I am afraid of heights to an uncontrollable degree of fear. Let me put it delicately: stepladders are too high for me. Don't EVEN get me started on open staircases where one can see through the steps... oh no, those are NOT an option under any circumstances. When I attempt to traverse stairs, I risk either falling down the stairs or falling up the stairs (which then results in falling down the stairs). I have fallen down stairs--it hurts. No, I don't think you understand. It hurts. Like falling on the ground but over and over and over again until you really are on the ground. Sharp, pointy steps with grip tape suck the most--they're like skin-chewing, bruise-causing nightmares for me.

I am physically capable of going up stairs. I have done it before; I will do it again. But sometimes I don't make it all the way up a flight of stairs without stumbling awkwardly. Not sure what happens, but I don't see the steps. They all become one and I can't see them anymore. I think it has something to do with the way my eyes and brain interpret what I'm seeing as the visual images are captured and processed. In any case, I falter frequently on stairs.

And then stairs just hurt. I have a bad knee (about which I could give you details but will spare you). Nevermind that I feel wrong using an elevator for less than four stories. I'd rather stumble than look lazy pushing the "2nd Floor" button from the ground floor. Ugh. Stupid, evil stairs.

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