Thursday, June 22, 2006

Performance Withdrawls

I'm not good at very many things, grand scheme wise. The list of things I am not able to do well is far longer than those things I fiddle with to some degree of success. Upon introspection, I find it odd that the one thing I am perhaps best at I am also most humble about. To me, it's not fair to take pride in something I haven't worked very hard at. And even more ironically, I have more fun doing it than just about anything else.

I am a performer, an entertainer, a musician. I've been doing it my entire life, starting with family Christmas concerts around age 3, playing short songs my cousin taught me on the piano. I've acted in a handful of plays and skits, and I've also directed a fair sized group of musicians. The sums are quite staggering: in my 22 years, I've participated in over one hundred performances, twenty parades (leading six of them), twelve marching band competitions, and several recitals. I have "mastered" two instruments, and can play just about anything handed to me moderately well. That said, I'm still not any good when compared to anyone who actually knows what they're doing! There will always be someone better than me, and I readily admit this fact.

My passion is not for the music. I play the piano to play the instrument, to make it come alive through notes and melody and harmony. The piano means more to me than any song, any refrain. My passion lies in the performance. Sharing what a piano can do with others.

Seeing a crowd, seeing someone on stage - my envy is palpable. I adore the stage, the spotlight, the attention, the praise - who wouldn't? Although... there is something perfect in sitting down to a Steinway Grand in an empty concert hall and playing for no one but myself.

I'm going through performance withdrawls. :( If you need someone to provide background music at any social event, please let me know. I'll play for free if you provide transportation costs. If you just want to listen sometime, that's cool too. I'll never turn away an audience.

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