Sunday, August 13, 2006

Crazy Family

Do you ever feel like your family is its own Jerry Springer Special? I'm not saying my experiences are unique or special... I just come from one crazy weird family.

Please allow me to note briefly how incredibly awesome my family is: both sides are made of fabulous people, funny and kind. We are a big, loud, fat, gossipy family, absolutely stereotypical to the core. Good people.

This evening, I visited my grandparents, grandma's older sister, the sister's daughter and grand-daughter, my aunt, uncle, cousin, her fiancé, and a family friend. It would take me pages to describe this bunch to you, but I'll try to set the scene. Mom's side. German! My aunt has a broken ankle from a recent stair-step-missing incident, and her husband just got back from the Sturgis Bike Week in South Dakota. Their daughter and her fiancé had been tasting wine and cake for their up-coming wedding in March. My cousin was more than tipsy... and the wine continued to flow freely for several hours. Grandpa slept in his chair through everything. Grandma asked everyone if she could get them a drink countless times while eavesdropping on everyones' conversations, making them start over if she found herself interested in any part of the story. Mom's cousin was freaking out with a caffeine withdrawl headache, whining about needing coffee asap. Mom had to fill her family in on my deviant life. Dad somehow managed to sneak away to the store, so he was gone. I was stuck on the couch between my aunt and mom in the estrogen ocean. They were trying to explain the rest of our crazy family to my second cousin. OH MY GOSH!

I was sitting there, looking around, wondering to myself, "am I really related to these people?!" My aunt looked over at me and answered aloud, "Just think, Linds, you're related to these people." Thankfully I didn't inherit the Kaster ass. Those women have the largest, round ... well, you know. Mom swears it'll catch up with me. I hope I got Dad's side's genes. Or else I'll dance four hours a day to prevent those bad genes from catching up with me.

I never take guys home to meet my extended family because I'm afraid they'll run screaming in the other direction! Wouldn't blame the guy, except they're such accepting people... there just happens to be forty or fifty of them to overcome. My family... our own Jerry Springer Special... but in a good way!

1 comment:

Uninformed Decision-Making said...

Don't worry, your ass'll never be that big. And if you fear its soon arrival, I suggest the four hours of dancing per day as you mentioned earlier. :)