Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Walking Wide

So my mom has this *thing* against how I walk.

I walk. Sometimes I can do the walk... you know, the one that makes guys go, "whoa, look at that." But most of the time, I'm just moving from point A to point B, trying not to trip in the process.

I like to go for walks. My neighborhood is pretty safe, and I feel comfortable walking alone in the evening (yes, even in this town *the horror*). Tonight, Mom joined me for a walk. The FIRST thing she does is tell me to walk with my legs farther apart. Um, no? That's not how I walk.

My pants rub together making a swishing noise -- this drives her up the wall. I don't know why... it doesn't bother me or anyone else I know. These are brand new Levi's, so they are still pretty stiff and don't give as easily as older (perfect) pants. Get over it.

I'm not built like my mother, so she doesn't understand why I walk differently than she does. I single-track, one foot in front of the other. Sometimes this makes my pants noisy. WHO CARES?! I'm not in a warzone, not sneaking up on the enemy, not even trying to sneak cookies out of the cookie jar/bag/bowl.

I don't understand. And it's uncomfortable for me to walk like a penguin, like I have a grape shoved up me arse, or like I'm some sort of injured dork when I don't need to do so.

Seriously, if noisy pants are the worst part of the day, life is not so bad. I'm over it.


Fresh Ink said...


Was blog surfing when I came across your blog and this post in particular. Totally get what you mean. My mum used to get on my case too abt the way I walk. In my case, she says I walk like I was going to war ie too supposedly to walk more "gracefully". Sighz, watever...

Mom of Three said...

I drag my fork across my upper front teeth and my mother goes into the stratosphere.

There's a war going on, for God's sake.