Monday, October 16, 2006

Age Limit

God? Will you please put an age limit on technology? Can the Internet cap be 40? Can the "ask me how to do something trivial" be 35? How about the "you're young, you can fix my computer" limit be six months older than me?

Because I'm really starting to lose it. Having to write out instructions that include: "to click the mouse button, place your right index finger on the left-most mouse button and depress it ONE TIME YOU STUPID MORON" is getting a little old. Explaining that the mouse wheel is not, in fact, something the mouse sits in/on, but rather a feature inside the mouse allowing the computer user the ability to scroll... or how about this: "to open a program (that I've previously installed a shortcut icon on your freaky desktop for you), drag (no, that's not a literal term, stop pointing at the monitor) your mouse cursor over to the icon and click twice. We've already covered how to click. Now do it twice in rapid succession. Faster. Unless the icon is a shortcut on your taskbar, then only click once. ONCE! I SAID ONCE! Damnit, now you've opened the same program twice and Windows is going to crash since it can't handle opening that much at once."

MOVE OVER AND LET ME DO IT FOR YOU. PLEASE. BEFORE YOU HURT SOMETHING. Like... ME!

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *blogger has encountered the blue screen of death, flatlined, and may need professional help*

God? Can you do that? Can you put an age limit on technology? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

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