Friday, November 10, 2006

Monsoons and Singledom

Welcome to monsoon season in Oregon! I wanted rain, I wanted HEAVY rain, and I finally got it. *big smile* I'd love to have more sympathy and compassion for people losing their homes along flooding rivers, but if you built your home next to a river in Oregon, I'm really not all that sorry for you. The view might be worth a million dollars... something tells me a stable foundation and security might be worth a bit more. Just a thought.

Officially, I'm single. again. and I'm okay with that. I've vented some anger into an unpublished blog-poem, so if you really want to read what I've written, you'll have to ask me for it. I didn't cry or anything, no heartbreak, just a lot of bitterness and unanswered questions. Introspectively, I looked for reasons why I could have led to the downfall of this relationship. I tried to make it my own fault, to blame myself, to make it easier to accept that I caused the failure. I know I'm not perfect. Looking back with hindsight and without the blinders of love/lust, I honestly can't find fault with myself as far as our relationship went. I did everything right... I could not have been a better friend, girlfriend, or individual without severely altering my core sense of self. I guess that's the most frustrating part of this breakup: I didn't do anything wrong, and yet I'm still losing.

I would rather spend every day of my life companionless than spend one day with someone that doesn't want to be with me. I respect myself enough to believe in that.

9 comments:

whit-o-roni said...

i still love you. but you know... your little animation kind of freaks me out...

The Guy Who Writes This said...

I kind of agree, I have to cover it up to read your post.

So there is your one and only fault.
It has nothing to do with your ability to have a relationship. Remember, men at your age haven't developed their maturity fully yet, so don't expect great things from them and you won't be disappointed.

Jaggy said...

Okay, I'll look to find another animation, or else move my little guy down.

Mr. The Guy, I wouldn't feel bad about this guy being immature if he were my age, but he's 12 years older, so there's really no excuse to not expect great things from him.

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Sorry to tell you this, but guys don't settle down until they are well into their 40s. It hit me at 42, and I wasn't totally tamed until 48.

Mom of Three said...

Well, if you want rain, I hear tell there is going to be a doozy of a storm tomorrow night. 80 mph winds here on the coast?

There are times I am glad we don't have a view lot. The houses blocking our view can take the brunt of the wind, thanks!

Sorry about the relationship. I can't tell you how man frogs I kissed in my day...

Mom of Three said...

Okay, here's something that totally gets me riled up.

Yes, we moved from California, I know that immediately invalidates much of what we have to say BUT I will say that the recycling program where we came from was vastly better than this scam here.

First of all, we had a green waste lot. The city put a chain link fence around a lot in an area nobody would call "high-ticket", people brought in their truckloads of green waste and dumped it for free. The city chipped it up and spread it elsewhere. No bags were allowed to be left or any other type of trash. Here, on my old rental lot I had to put the stuff into the trash. I felt awful. Here, at the new place, I can find a place to compost.

The cans/bottles situation? Could they make it any more difficult? First of all, if you want to turn in an aluminum can, it has to have the OR mark on it, or just put it in the trash or save it to take back Washington. WHAT? In my old area, you went to the recycle yard, which was staffed by paid people who were basically from the Goodwill-type program. You got a wire basket for each type of recyclable, separated them, they were weighed and you got your money right there. No sorting out the Big K bottles because you were at Safeway.

And even if you do have Safeway bottles, half the time the machine is full or it won't recognize the container, so you buzz help and wait your 20 minutes until they come to "shake down" the recepticle, or empty it, or count out your containers that the machine won't take.

We also buy almost everything used here. We donate everything that is resalable, too.

There are places on the Internet that can help you find places to donate clothing. Jeans, I know, are often broken back down and used for other things. Denim is totally recyclable. I imagine most kind of cotton is.

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Ummm, Carrie, you posted the above reply to the wrong blog. Too funny!

Jaggy said...

Uh, yeah, I was gonna say... umm... huh?! I appreciate comments, but I also like understanding the reference. :) Nevermind that I'm conservation minded... Thanks! (I think.)

Mom of Three said...

See? This is what happens when you have too many kids.

For this I went to college????

Sorry, Jag.