Saturday, November 18, 2006

On Erasing People

Ever get in a fight with someone and then casually saunter over to their Facebook/MySpace/personal website/blog/corner-of-the-web and find that all traces of you have been removed?

I don't understand this phenomenon. You can't erase a fight, delete the past, or pretend things never happened when they most certainly did happen. It's one thing to change your status from "in a relationship" to "single" on Facebook (because, as we all know, Facebook is so "the real world" -- *dripping sarcasm*), but to wash your hands of an individual so hastily is perfidious.

Furthermore, I recently left a relationship (not sure I had a choice in it = very dumped and slightly bitter about it). I'd blogged several times about the guy, but when we broke up, I didn't run as fast as I could to remove every trace of him. In fact, the only things I've deleted on my blog have been by request. I can't imagine deleting information like that! If another guy comes to my blog (which I'm hoping for), he'll be able to read all about the last relationship. He'll see that I had a great time while it lasted, that I am honest about my life, and that I don't try to hide things. "Shouldn't some things, like past relationships, be kept private?" you ask? Sure... but I have nothing to hide. If the guy ends up being important in my life, he'll probably find out about everything (which is really nothing) eventually anyway, so then there are no surprises.

Why do we (you) try to remove our fights, our mistakes, our enemies from our lives? I'm all for walking away from bad situations and bad people, then learning from those things. I'm not, however, in support of childish maneuvers and dishonest acts that hide history and truth.

You cannot change the past. You cannot make what happened un-happen. You cannot take back a thought or sentiment, and you cannot erase an action. You can, however, learn and grow from your past and embrace a new self, changed by that past.

2 comments:

Mom of Three said...

I think people try to tidy up their histories. I also think that many are vindictive in "erasing" others. Like, "See? You wre always so insignificant that I don't even care if you're here." Immature.

However, Britney and Kevin removed each other from their MySpace pages, so your ex is in (trailer trash) good company.

Jaggy said...

To me, it's kind of like people from this country trying to cover up our horrible past, from waging biological warfare on Native Americans to owning slaves.

Col. Thomas Aspinwall said, "It is painful to advert these things. But our forefathers, though wise, pious, and sincere, were nevertheless, in respect to Christian charity, under a cloud; and, in history, truth should be held sacred, at whatever cost... especially against the narrow and futile patriotism, which, instead of pressing forward in pursuit of truth, takes pride in walking backwards to cover the slightest nakedness of our forefathers."

Whether or not my most recent ex did do this remains a mystery to the blogosphere. Suffice it to say that this type of event has occurred at some point in the past, and has only now made it onto my blog. I mean no harm in the post, nor do I wish to point fingers specifically.