Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Observation and Choices

I would like to make note of an event I witnessed on campus today. I was walking from my office to Kerr to drop off/pick something up when a fire truck was on its way through campus. Just as I step into the street, I hear the secondary sirens warming up, and all around me kids slowly turn toward the sound. As the truck heads up the road toward us, one girls shouts to the girl next to her, "why do they have to make those damn things so loud? It drives me crazy." Rage. Oooh so much rage. Some students farther down the street had a look of sheer terror on their faces, a look I would assume comes from the respect due a fire crew for the work they must often perform. It just amazed me how different the responses were to something so common, so I thought I'd write about it.

From zero to many! There are a few nice prospects at the moment, but I don't know much about any of them yet. I forgot what else I was going to post, and anyway, I need to go back to the eye doctor to pick up my new glasses. Homework tonight, then either out to Keep the Pint Night with the girls or dancing with the boys... choices!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A Change in the Wind

Putting information up on Facebook and MySpace has its advantages and disadvantages... just as having a completely random blog can be good and bad. I'm told that employers are beginning to use Facebook to screen candidates, and that a blog can be used for/against a potential employee. As a whole, my information is pretty vague and not location specific (I don't know what kind of creepy people will read this). But as I recently found out, anybody can look at this and figure quite a bit out about me. Part of me likes that - part of me freaks out inside. Ah, situation normal. :)

There is a guy, he seems nice, he has many of the qualities I'm looking for in a guy, but I'm not sure yet. Must do more research. And must remember not to play Halo (the ass-whooping I received was rather... ouchie-ness-to-the-10th-degree). I remain hopeful. Things are looking good so far...

Began my second round of student teaching today at Linus Pauling MS here in town. The classes are big, but they're cool. I enjoy working with the students - they asked me so many intelligent questions on my first day! Kinda scary, but I have a good background in basic geology and volcanology, so I was doing pretty good. My supervising teacher is real with the students - something I haven't seen in a long time. Should be fun.

Returning all of my textbooks this term since they're all available for free in full text online. :) yay, $80 to me! $50 to new dancing shoes, $30 to savings. Nice trade-off!

I am headed to the eye doctor to spend all of my money. Will write more later. But there has been a change in the wind, a refreshing and comfortable change.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

2005 Reflections

How can I summarize an entire year down into a short blog blurb? What should I say that is meaningful or influential? And what did I learn last year that I will take with me?

2005 was a year of growth more than anything. I moved out just a few days before 2005 began, and have been living with my two wonderful/crazy roommates since then. We have fought, laughed, loved, cried, played, pissed off, and supported each other every day. Rachel and Emily are probably two of the coolest roommates to have, and I love them both. At the moment. ;)

I worked hard in 2005, earning more money than in my two previous years combined (not to say I actually have any of that left after rent and food). I have had three different jobs, two of which I still have. For a short while I worked at the OSU Foundation as a telemarketer asking alumni for money. I hated that job and quit after 5 weeks. I am currently only working at the retirement facility on the weekends and on campus on the weekdays when I'm not in class.

2005 was a year for learning. I had my first great boyfriend, my first sleepover (shockingly I didn't really do this growing up), my first real party, my first load of laundry, my first home-cooked food, and my first drink. A few notes about those: my first load of laundry sounds kinda silly, considering my age, but when I lived at home, Mom didn't let me do my own laundry, and I never complained (and yes, I did help when I could). Jeff and Rachel showed me how to do laundry in a machine likely as old as me... laughing the whole time. I have since overcome my inability and manage to do laundry without turning my clothes pink (ha ha Rachel!). :) And the drinking part is sort of a misconception altogether. I'm really not that into it, but because drinking is a part of my culture and I am expected to know about alcohol, I am learning. Tasting. Not drinking to get drunk or to forget or whatever. Drinking responsibly and learning.

The last bit about 2005 is complicated and hard to put into words. I understand betrayal, deceit, frustration, and anger now. Circumstances put me in situations I didn't want to be in, and then, when I tried to make the best of those situations, they backfired on me and things became worse. I learned that I forgive too easily. I learned how important it is to be loyal. So few words would do any of this year justice... so I'll stop.

People told me quite a bit about being an adult in 2005. I think I have finally transitioned from childhood into adulthood, and I am sad. The moving Finding Neverland summarizes how much I never wanted to make that transition, but like Peter, we must all grow up. I'd like to think I transitioned gracefully, but I didn't. I was (and am) awkward, selfish, difficult, and resilient. But I know who I am and what I want. Hopefully, my confidence is clear without being obnoxious, though I'm sure it is. You know what, I'm okay with that, because I am who I am. And fuck you if you don't like me. You're going to miss out on someone pretty cool.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Few Rants

My flood rant: If you are stupid enough to live next to a river in Oregon, especially one that floods every time we get heavy rains, you are stupid enough for me to not care that your house is currently under water.

My boy rant: I don't understand what I'm doing wrong or why they think I'm "the kind of girl that is only good for conversation." I'm a whole package, a true prize of a girl. Not that I'm stuck-up or full of myself, I just know who I am and what I want. I hope there is a guy out there that can see past a goofy grin and my odd sense of adventure. If you believe you are qualified to date me, please send me a message, I'm not scary at all. Honest.

My roommate rant: AHHHHH! and that's all I have to say about that.

My newest rant: I'm really tired of always coming in second. Not to sound like a whiny, spoiled brat, but I expect certain things of my friends (never anything I wouldn't do) and I expect to be treated with honesty and respect. If I was there first, if I was there most, why do you treat me like a second-class person? Why don't I matter as much? Think this doesn't apply to you - think again. I know two people who haven't treated me like crap recently, and I'm really tired of the rest of you doing so.

My money rant: "Poverty can be fun!" my old history professor told me. I only drink out of plastic pizza cups. Instead of champaigne and caviar, I'm working up to club soda and fish sticks...the nasty freezer burn kind. I've learned to mend clothes instead of buying new ones. I know how to throw a decent party for less than $10. I can bake a turkey and cook using leftovers - and sometimes the food is better the second time around! I find $90 shoes for $30, get my bread for free, and sometimes, I even manage to splurge on ice cream. My only extra fun comes in the form of torturing my friends and roommates, watching silly B-movies, and pretending that I'm not hungry, cold, or lonely. Yes, indeed, poverty can be fun. Sometimes.