Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Honesty is the Best Policy, right?

I was recently told that I'm a little too honest in my blog.

What good with this blog be to me if it wasn't a place for self-expression? What price would I pay for falsely leading others? I'm not here to impress or distress, to make anyone think I'm anything other than me. I find comfort in writing and expressing myself through words. I appreciate feedback, especially when my ideas are over the top. :)

I took the second half of the day off today to think and write. Two pages and an hour later, I had poured out a lot of things I've been holding in for a few months, and it felt good to get them out on "paper." Healing, for me, generally happens through writing about issues, written words for no one to see. I do it half as a prayer, half as meditation.

I'm told it takes a day for every month spent together to get over someone. For a two-month relationship, I'm looking at about two days, in theory, to get over him. Oddly, I feel pretty "over him" already. No tears, no bitterness, nothing of consequence left unsaid...

Perhaps it is because I became accustomed to meeting old people just before they died that I am able to grieve so quickly sometimes. I've learned that loving and losing is part of life, an ugly and unfortunate part.

I really wish, though, that I could have a relationship that lasts longer than two months... because just about the time I get comfortable, things get all weird, and I end up single again.

Wouldn't you rather that I live as openly and honestly online as I do in real-life? You're going to learn these things about me eventually... the blog just makes it easier to categorize my insanity. :)

"Can I be a mongoose dog?"

3 comments:

Jeff Waddell said...

Honesty is always a good policy. I appreciate that character trait in you.

Mom of Three said...

Don't you just LOVE America???? Nobody wants the truth. The majority of drones elect W the second time, but don't want to know what's really going on with this disastrous war. Did you know the only "unexplained death" at Abu Ghraib was that one where the soldiers took a photo of the corpse???? That they prosecuted the people who took the photos but not the generals who ordered the torture?

And it extends to things like blogs. I mean, this is YOUR blog, YOUR truth, and don't you let anyone try to squish you into the popular "ostrich with head in the sand" mold.

I found out a long time ago that my mother-in-law was lurking on my blog. I mean, that's why I created another "family" blog with no f-bombs and no rants about how I REALLY feel! But she couldn't tell me about stuff she read because then I would know she was lurking.

So I put in an entry which basically said: Read at your own risk. You can't stand the heat, get out of MY kitchen. Go somewhere else where they discuss potholders, for heaven's sake. There are plenty of those.

Fight the power, girlfriend!

Jaggy said...

Thanks so much for a both informative and expressive comment!

I know someone who reads several blogs as a bit of a social study to see how honest people are as bloggers. Seems kinda silly to me to create a blog and then lie all the time. Nothing fancy here, just my life and thoughts... honest as it is.