Sunday, April 08, 2007

Stepping Into My Own

What an unusual weekend...

Yesterday was quiet. I watched three movies, had dinner out, hurt my elbow, and was up until 3am chatting friends online. I got up late today, did more chatting, and have been mostly unproductive for the third weekend in a row. I did take time this afternoon to visit Grandma--a nice visit telling her all about my boy drama. And tonight, I would like to finish this origami project I started last weekend.

I spent a lot of time this weekend rethinking how I've lived my life. I feel as though I've been running around like a back-up singer in a rock band or something, not standing out the way I should. Instead of running up to the mic and taking charge of the stage, I've been walking out calmly, singing the song, and walking off the stage. I'm not the leading lady in the movie of my life. Realizing that has taken several years, and admitting it was pretty hard. I'm learning how to play one role instead of jumping from one to another.

Another way to look at it:
When a girl puts on make-up, some people say she becomes a different person. People ask me why I love my green contacts, if they make me a different person. At first, I thought they did. But as I grow, I'm learning that simply because I'm wearing make-up, contacts, a skirt, or whatever, I don't have to change. I am slowly developing the confidence to see myself in many ways instead of relying on others to tell me who I am.

As for Easter: it passed quietly, marked only by a new friend. You know who you are. :)

3 comments:

Mom of Three said...

Our Easter was totally quiet as well. But on the upswing, The Sopranos is back on. Whoo!

whit-o-roni said...

do i become a different person with make up on? :(

Jaggy said...

Since I don't see you without make-up very often, it's hard to say. I think you look divine without make-up though. :P And curly hair! I miss your curly hair...