Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Ask the Wall

I'm sitting at my desk, my fingers on the keyboard which sits on my lap, my legs propped up onto the bed. Any physical therapist would cringe at my posture. But I'm comfortable.

I just can't think of anything to blog about tonight. Rather, I don't have the energy to flesh out a great memory or expound on my delightful day. It is all I can do tonight to get a glass of water down... let alone be creative.

I'm not even looking at the monitor as I type. My eyes have mostly glazed over, staring off into the distance between my body and the wall opposite me. For some reason, the thoughts and colors in my head look more vivid against the stark white wall's semi-gloss bumps. The wall has a bulletin board on it. It keeps distracting me. I've tacked up some of my favorite comics, a few mementos, and some ribbons I've won in science fairs and other goofy contests. I hung my varsity letter from high school up, and my three graduation tassels (two for high school, one for college) slowly amass dust. I see a name badge from my student teaching days, a few keychains that indicate some of my passions, a note from Emily telling me to have faith and courage, and some ticket stubs from a Broadway play, a national forest, and the state fair. I have put up some wrist bands from various dances I've attended that meant something special as well. It's not a big bulletin board, maybe 18"x24". Somewhere in all that jumble of thumbtacks, I see a window between the person I once was and the person I've become.

It's not an exciting wall. I don't even know why I'm telling you about it.

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