Saturday, September 22, 2007

Houses don't come with toilet plungers... and other necessary things

When I was growing up, there were certain household items I took for granted. I guess I thought houses just came with some things. Then, I moved out. I moved into a house that came with walls, carpets, and a kitchen sink. Mom and Dad weren't there to furnish it or provide those necessary little things that houses don't in fact come with.

Houses don't come with toilet plungers. You don't realize that a house doesn't come furnished with a toilet plunger until you need one. I assure you, this is not a fun lesson to learn. How did three girls find a toilet plunger necessary? Three hot girls tend to attract boys... and not every boy understands not to do his dirty work in a girls' house. Low-volume toilets in a high-traffic area means toilet plungers ought to be had. I have one now. Oh, and FYI: get the red rubber ones. I know the wooden handle is gross and unsanitary, but the plastic ones don't work for, well, shit.

Houses don't come with garden hoses. I learned this when I went to wash my car the first time. Seriously, I thought houses just came with hoses attached or something. Why not? But, of course, why would someone leave a perfectly good hose behind?

Houses don't (but should!) come with a roll of duct tape. That stuff is expensive! But it fixes nearly everything. Apparently growing up in a house where everything is homemade anyway and having a shop full of Dad's tools jaded my little mind.

Houses don't come with shops full of tools. For the first three months, my roommates and I existed with a Phillips-head (plus-end, as opposed to minus-end) screwdriver, an old hammer, and a dull set of needle nose pliers. Surprisingly, we didn't need much else, but when I'd go to fix something and needed a specific tool, we simply didn't have it. Hex-head screwdrivers and mini screwdrivers are two things I'm definitely investing in as I move out this time.

Houses don't come with cleaning supplies. Mom always had cupboards full of chemicals, but they always came out of thin air or something. Soft Scrub doesn't grow on trees--that stuff is expensive, too! Gallons of bleach aren't out under the back step or behind the water heater. You actually have to buy these things.

Houses don't come with vacuum cleaners. Have you ever been in a house that didn't have one? Everybody I know has one... and I know I've used one a time or two (haha), but the hall closet comes empty. It's up to the homeowner or tenant to provide the vacuum cleaner.

I knew about couches and chairs and dishes and food. I contemplated artwork and bookcases and a piano. But I never imagined I'd have to buy a toilet plunger for my own house.

You should have seen the look on the store clerk's face when I went to buy it, too!


elle said...

Add a lawn mower, a shovel, a fire extinguisher, duct tape, electrical extension cords, a step ladder and extra lightbulbs to the list.
Oh and you might as well add a partridge in a pear tree while you are at it, with the holiday season just around the corner.

OK forget the bird and just add Christmas lights and assorted holiday decor.
Oh the joys of being a grown up. I think you should continue visit the folks often enough to pilfer the

David said...

One of the wonderful things about getting married: you tend to get a lot of those things on the list for a present. I'll never forget, Nia ended up getting 95% of our presents and I think only two things were actually meant for me. Of course one of the gifts I got was from her family: a complete tool set. In the time since few gifts have meant so much.