Sunday, January 27, 2008

Seeing Myself Anew

Most mornings, I rush into the bathroom, slap on some make-up, and call it good. Same routine every day, same colors, same look. I'm a wash-and-go kind of girl, no frills or fancy hair, and I'm definitely not a diva. Before dancing, sometimes I'll dab on a little lipstick or brighten my eyes with a subtle eyeliner and mascara. Nothing big. Easy. Simple.

But with all that simplicity, I don't really take the time to stop and look at myself. I only see the flaws and things I need to cover, only the zits and imperfections and lines and worries.

Today, in a fit of... boredom? inspired creativity? ...something... I decided to spend some time both behind and in front of my camera lens. Anyone who visits my blog more than once a week will know how often I stand behind the camera. I love photography. I love capturing images that make viewers wish they'd been there in the moment illustrated. An old saying goes, "a picture's worth a thousand words." I've always been of the notion that a good picture doesn't need words: it stands alone.

As I posed for myself (that sounds odd, but it's true), I felt uncomfortable, silly, stupid, weird, and flat-out insane. Who takes head shots of herself? My flash almost blinded me--now I know how everyone else feels. A hundred flashes later, I'd grown tired of the fake poses and just smiled. *click*

One hundred photos, and my favorite one was the last. Completely honest, completely unreserved. When I uploaded the images, the last one stood out head-and-shoulders over the rest (bad pun, bad pun!). It surprised me, and I couldn't be happier with it. One picture. One.

One image that allowed me to look beyond the everyday me and see something more, something less, something real. I think that's important. So I blogged about it.

*Editor's Note: Picture has been removed.


Jen said...

I, too, tend to hide behind the lens. Or, at least, I did. I joined Project 365 this year, wherein I take a self portrait every single day for a year. At first it was weird to be in front of the camera, but I've found that I've gotten a lot less self-conscious about it. I took my camera and my tripod outside today and snapped away in front of other people. So yeah, I'm feeling you on this one!

You can check out my progress thus far here. And you should totally join flickr! It's an awesome way to share photos, and they even have an easy "Blog this" feature. You should check it out.

Jeff W said...

Why did you take down the picture?