Saturday, February 02, 2008

Two Random Meetings

I ran into two people today that I haven't spoken to in six or seven years. They were both instrumental in my band life (so sorry about the pun), each in opposite ways. The first person didn't believe I could do something and outright told me I'd never amount to anything musically. While I'm not a performing artist making millions of dollars, that was never my goal. I did go on to lead my band in high school and am not a horrible pianist in any sense. It was his dismissal that drove me to work harder. He had a temper and a gentleness... not my favorite person, but someone I've forgiven internally.

The other person was a peer but not a friend. He was always kind, always professional, and always a little bit hesitant to let me lead since I am a female and he is a Mormon. I left high school a year a head of him, and we didn't make any effort to stay in touch. Seeing him today made me think back to those years as a high school band demi-god-complex-ed teen. Bittersweet memories.

After these two moments, I had to wonder who else I'd run into. There aren't many people from my education that I'd like to see again, to be honest. I have a few friends that I'm still in regular contact with (even if only through Facebook status changes and wall posts), and there are one or two teachers that I'd love to see again. Otherwise... I've moved on. I'm not going to turn anyone away if they want to talk to me, but I'm not actively seeking anyone I grew up with.

I think about the changes I've made in myself, the growth I've gone through, and the things I didn't do. So many of the people I grew up with are married, have kids (more than one!), some have completed tours in the military, and others are done with college (like me). A few have gone to jail, and a few simply disappeared. Some own their own businesses already. I know one guy is living out of his van on the coast someplace.

I'm single, educated, and have a long career stretched out in front of me, and I'm a young 24. Given the choices I've made, I can't imagine myself with children right now. I never had the sense to get in trouble. Short of college, I have a hard time thinking that I've done anything else. Seeing these two men today forced me to look at myself through another's eyes. Did I make the right decisions? Have I followed the right path?

Of course, I will always wonder these things. The uncertainty is what makes life interesting.

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