Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Boyfriend Chronicles: #3 (aka "Who needs the personality adjustment now, Bubba?")

Mom calls it my "not thinking phase" and my "warm body phase" interchangeably. Apparently dating him wasn't the smartest move according to her. I might be wrong to disagree...

We met in high school, though we never hung out or talked. He was a geek, and I was a nerd, and that combination was bad news in my high school. Plus, he was a year ahead of me. I knew him by name, and I knew about him, but we still weren't friends.

After high school, he left for college. I joined him (and 20,000 other people) at OSU the following year. Since my best friend had become good friends with him, I got to re-meet him and know him better. His roommate was pretty cool, too. After a while, I realized I was into him, and something must have clicked because soon we were a couple.

What are the key parts of a successful relationship? In no particular order, I think they might be physical attraction, common interests, and effective communication.

When it comes to physical attraction, this guy and I weren't exactly seeing eye-to-eye. His idea of a workout involved drinking while brewing more alcohol or playing a computer game. Don't get me wrong--he wasn't unattractive--but we had very different ideas of what "attractive" is. That, and I got tired of him telling me how to look better. Because he was one to judge?! WTF?

Common interests, then? Um, NONE. Literally zero. We finally figured out that the only thing we had in common was where we went to school. Nothing else. Not one thing. Seriously! I couldn't find someone more opposite from myself. And that whole idea about opposites attracting? That's stupid, and it's horribly misinformed. We couldn't talk about anything, could never agree on what to do or where to go, what to eat, and we couldn't even agree on the weather!

And effective communication... well... not really. I was commuting from my parents' house to school, so I didn't stick around much after class. Aside from the once or twice a week I got to see him socially, we mostly talked online--and that was spotty since he was busy with "homework."

To top it all off, I was getting the feeling that my boyfriend was only dating me to get to my best friend, who, I might add, was dating his roommate. Not a pleasant feeling, but I tried to get over it and hoped for the best.

Well, the best got served to me one late night after three months of dating. We were trying to instant message each other while a party was going on in his dorm room. When I decided he was ignoring me for the alcohol and women, I stopped talking to him. After a few minutes, he popped back up to say, "I've been thinking: if this relationship is going to continue, one of us is going to have to have a serious personality adjustment." I think he was referring to me. That was pretty much the end of things.

I've seen him many, many times since, and we talk occasionally. He lived with another guy I ended up dating at a later time (see Boyfriend Chronicles #5, once I've written it). I still don't know why I dated him in the first place... maybe I was just looking for a warm body to like me back. Maybe I wasn't thinking like Mom says. In any case, I don't regret it. Ah, yes, live and learn!


Oryx Orange said...

Do you believe that your ideal man is the type of man who would read your blog?

Jaggy said...

I'm not sure, and I don't use my blog as a yardstick for who I will and won't consider as a potential mate. If someone does want to read, I can't stop them. And I also can't force anyone to read it either.

I have already listed the traits my "perfect man" ought to have, and reading my blog is not one of them. Honestly, I think there are much more important things to worry about in a relationship than whether or not he reads my blog.

Oryx Orange said...

Agreed! If knowing what you want means that you'll have a good chance of getting it, I'd say you have a pretty good chance of finding him!

Jaggy said...

Thanks, I hope so. My "Boyfriend Chronicles" series isn't really about 'airing the laundry' as much as it is an exercise in telling stories and finding blog content. It's hard to come up with new stuff every day, so I have to resort to digging up my past. Which is pretty tame, let me tell ya...

I appreciate the thoughtful comments. Thanks!

Oryx Orange said...

Better than fiction, I'd say. My view is that real life well relayed is just as interesting and entertaining as our favourite fiction fixes.