Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Boyfriend Chronicles: #4 (The Un-Boyfriend)

I've gone around and around in my head about how I should write about #4, and I haven't come up with a single good idea. You'd think, after almost six years, that I'd be full of witty remarks and carefully planned snide comments. It's not that I don't have things to say about him... it's that we never really dated. I never called him my "boyfriend," and he never introduced me as his "girlfriend." In fact, I've taken to calling the time we spent together way back when as "The Time." (Wow, that's original!)

How we met is unimportant. We met. End of beginning. After a few months of instant messages and e-mails, he invited me over to his apartment for an afternoon movie. One afternoon turned into a series of afternoons, months, and years...

Several people have commented about how they disapprove of or don't like "friends with benefits" relationships. But until you're presented with the opportunity, don't knock it. He and I were good friends, and yeah, there were some limited "benefits" to our relationship. It worked for us. After a while, the "benefits" ended. Our friendship continued, and we're still friends to this day. I'm not saying it wasn't hard to do, but as long as both people are on the same page and communicate honestly, the relationship is great. I never felt used, like I was an object, or anything bad. Of course, I also wasn't having sex (duh!), so that helped... Moral of the story: "friends with benefits" can be a good relationship, but it's not for everyone. And don't sit there judging me like I know you are. You're not perfect either.

So we never dated. We've shared stories, hiked mountains, watched dozens of movies, chatted thousands of hours, and supported each other many, many years. We go out for lunch and dinner from time to time, and I see him often. But still, no dating. We've been nothing more than friends for over four years.

He has the ability to make me angry, and he can make me very happy, too. He keeps me guessing, keeps me in line, and is sure to make fun of me at every opportunity. Like when I called him tonight to tell him I was writing a blog post about him... and he laughed. "Write whatever you want," he said. So I did.

The un-boyfriend: I sure-as-hell couldn't live with him, but I'd be sad if I lived without him.

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