Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My name is Jaggy, and I have a sweet tooth THIS LONG

I love cake. White, chocolate, yellow, devil's food... the kind colored with sprinkles even, I love it all. I like frosting (as long as it's not that lardy crap from the supermarket bakery), and I have absolutely no qualm about eating a spoonful of that cheap frosting you can buy in the plastic tub in the baking section at the store. It's especially good on graham crackers--Teddy Grahams are a favorite, head first of course--but Oreos or other cookies work in a pinch. The heavier the cake is, the more I tend to like it (Pound cake over angel food any and every day).

I love cookies. Snickerdoodles, chocolate chip, peanut butter... the list goes on and on. I don't like raisins, and I don't like crunchy cookies. Soft is better, and sugar cookies must be soft and flaky. I like the plain, with sprinkles, frosted, with icing, filled, and washed down with more cookies. I do not dunk cookies (that's so wrong), but I've been known to put Hershey's syrup on sugar cookies... it's like icing, but cheaper and faster!

I like hard candy, soft candy, chewy candy, candy with nuts, candy without nuts, candy covered in chocolate, and candy in any shape. Not a huge licorice fan, but some kinds are good. If I don't have to eat nuts, I won't. And I dislike candy containing fruit or any fruit flavorings (except strawberry and apple--those are safe bets). Coconut is completely unacceptable in any form under any conditions.

Muuuufiiiiinnnnnnssss, mmmmmmmmmmm. I like all of the usual muffins: poppyseed, bran, and blueberry. I prefer the Jiffy blueberry muffins over real blueberries, and I like plain muffins over anything with fruit in them. Muffins are great the second day when the outside gets a bit dried out. Coffeecake fits in here, too, and I like that with streusel all over the top. Did I mention I love muffins?

I like brownies pretty well, but I'm not a fudge person. Cheesecake is a favorite, with or without caramel sauce, berry sauce, and oreo-crumb crust. I like pudding if it's fresh, but no tapioca or weird flavors. Jell-o isn't high on my list, so I avoid it if I can (unless Dad makes it, then a little goes a long way). Oh, and I will not eat Jell-o if there is anything in it. I also don't like it used as flavoring for anything else.

Ice cream rates high if it's vanilla-based with chocolate or caramel ribbon. I like cookie dough ice cream, mint ice cream, and occasionally I'll eat chocolate ice cream. Drumsticks are the perfect size with all the right ingredients. Popcicles are fun, and I like Otter Pops, fudgecicles, and dilly bars from Dairy Queen (esp. butterscotch!). Cinnamon rolls are a favorite as long as they don't have nuts or cream cheese frosting. And I'm not sure who does the baked rice at Thanksgiving, but sometimes I get a hankerin' for that stuff.

No pie, though. Pie is awful, whether it's a fruit pie or a cream pie. Pie crust isn't great, and yes, I've had what people would consider to be excellent pie crusts. I will tolerate a chocolate silk pie if I must. Pie... *shudder* Grandma will probably be the only one who reads my blog and knows what kuchen is, and I hate to say it, but that stuff gives me the willies. I'm not a fan of custards or flan, and kuchen is a pie shell full of custard and fruit. That ain't right!

I have such a sweet tooth... anyone else feeling diabetic yet? You're probably thinking I must be huge for eating all of this tasty food, but I'm not. I'm not skinny, and I'm certainly not overweight. I enjoy a good sweet every day, but too much and I just wear out. A little bit is all I need. Well... unless it's a favorite on a bad day...

Candy bar: Snickers or a plain Hershey's bar; Lindt if I am really craving good chocolate
Ice cream: just plain ol' vanilla... with a little chocolate syrup on top
Cake: devil's food with white frosting and dark chocolate lightly shaved on top
Cookie: oatmeal chocolate chip, but snickerdoodles if they're really soft (and Mom's sugar cookies at Christmas, but that's just a given)
Hard candy: butterscotch discs
Soft candy: Lindor truffles when I can, but Junior Mints otherwise
Chewy candy: Good 'n' Plenty are hard to beat, Red vines as well
Overall dessert: a good cheesecake or anything homemade... it's always better homemade.

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