Monday, April 28, 2008

Somebody should have told me...

I didn't realize I was doing it. Nobody ever said anything, and I didn't know. But now I feel awful about it. Even worse, I can't go back and fix it. I feel like it's my fault. I know it's my fault. How could I change something I didn't realize though?

Sometimes my delivery isn't so good. Sometimes I say something and it comes out differently than I'd intended. That doesn't mean I'm a bad person: I simply didn't deliver my message with the appropriate words or tone. Communication pretty much sucks in that respect, and I have much to learn. Again.

Sometimes my timing is off. I won't know the exact word to use in the moment and what pops out isn't quite right. I'll think I understand the conversation and *wham* something comes out of my mouth that invokes only the most horrific silence in my conversants. Enter Captain Embarrassment...

But lately, I'm told, I have developed a bad habit of not looking at people when they're talking to me. I don't look at the ground, and I've never been one to avoid eye contact. I'll simply continue what I was doing when they approach me and not look up at them. And this is bad. But I didn't realize I was doing it! I kept getting interrupted, so maybe by not acknowledging people, I guess I was hoping they'd leave me alone. I didn't know they were feeling offended... nobody thought to tell me.

And now I feel like an ass.

Okay, a bigger ass than usual. In any case, I take pride in my ability to self-correct mistakes, but I didn't know. Now that someone has pointed it out (gently and kindly, I might add), I can work to combat my own misbehavior. Because I'm an adult. Even though I haven't been acting like one.

If I've been doing something offensive, please tell me. If it is within my ability to change and correct the action, I will do so. I strive to be respectful. I really do want to be nice.

Editor's addendum: I'm not changing my beliefs or values for you, and I'm not covering up any more of me than I already do. There is a fine line between me being respectful of your wishes and me just telling you get the hell heck over yourself. And yes, I get to make that distinction.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Honestly I think this happens when one works in an office environment like you have been for a while now. For most people there is no disrespect intended, it just becomes habbit, Its allmost like a form of multi tasking, you are talking to some while also working or looking at some thing else. I know many people that do the same thing with out ever realizing it. The fact that some one pointed it out, I find is rare, hopefully it was family or some one you consider a true friend