Sunday, May 04, 2008

The Boyfriend Chronicles: #6

It all started with an innocent message on Facebook. "I think you're a neat girl, and we should get together sometime." I surfed his profile, deemed him interesting, and set up a place to meet. We talked, laughed, the usual... nothing fancy. He was pretty cool, and he was very good at listening to what I was saying and then using that information in creative ways. He really seemed interested in me, and I thought he was super cool.

Until the truth came out.

I don't want to call him nerdy, but he was a nuclear engineering student. It's pretty hard to find an NE that isn't nerdy, and try as he might, he still was. His life revolved around school and his World of Warcraft habit. When I could drag him away from the computer, he proved to be a decent dancer. Well, a decent dancer for a stocky nerd who always wore sandals...

I'm not usually one to fall for puppy-dog eyes, but he could look at me and I'd do just about anything for him. He'd ask if I'd sit with him while he did his homework (boring), or if I'd watch him play World of Warcraft (does it get more boring?). I did, at first, until I realized I wasn't getting anything out of the relationship. It also made me upset that he somehow had time to play basketball with the guys every other day and never managed to have an hour to spend with me. While I'm neither needy or clingy, I do demand a little time in a relationship. It's called "give and take," not "take, take, take."

On top of everything else, he was (is?) a Marine. He was working his way up the ranks from the very bottom, and while he looked super sharp in his dress uniform, there was something I didn't like about the "oorah!" shouting and jarhead mannerisms. The one thing I disliked most was how he informed me of things. He would only tell me what I needed to know exactly when I needed to know it. I never knew about things in advance, and I never felt like I was on the same page as he was. That was hard for me. But still, I tried to make things work.

It wasn't all bad. We "dated" for five or six weeks, and in that time, I felt complete and safe. While he didn't spend much time with me, the time we were together was mostly good. I think back at how blind "love" can be and laugh. It wasn't love, and I sincerely doubt there was even any infatuation. Just two people who met online and wanted to see what would happen.

Technically we were never "going out." He refused to use the word "girlfriend" to describe me, and he often told me how much he hated titles in general. Try as I might, we never became official. After several days of silence from him, I decided to move on. He invited me over unexpectedly one evening, and I knew it was coming. Before he could get the words out, I ended things. He expected me to cry, but I didn't: there was nothing there to cry over.

In five short weeks, I learned a lot about relationships. Not all of it can be expressed in one blog post, nor could it be contained within the entirety of a novel. Suffice it to say that I didn't learn my lesson about military men, but that all changed with the next guy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Live and learn. That's pretty much all one can do.