Monday, July 28, 2008

Here's Your Sign

I'll admit it: I'm a bit of a smartass. I talked back to my mother from the day I could say "no," and I never really grew out of it. Sure, I wizened up and figured out when I might get a laugh out of her instead of a whippin' (no, Grandma, my parents never actually whipped me. Mom did slap me a few times, though. I'd tell you to give her a talkin-to, but I probably deserved it).

My smartass tactics changed over the years. I was into puns for a long time, and a clever pun is golden. Dad hits some real smart puns once in a while, subtle and satisfying. I also like dry comedy at times. Unless you know me and understand when I'm being sassy, I sound like a snob much of the time. I've worked hard at keeping a straight face, not giving away my humorous side, and I can deliver sometimes without a twinkle in my eye. Once you get to know me, though, I'm pretty open about my smartass-ness.

Comedy is one of my favorite things in life, and I loyally follow a few awesome comedians: Jeff Dunham, Kevin James, Bill Engvall, and Eddie Izzard can keep me laughing for hours. Of all of the comedians, though, I think Bill Engvall and I have the same outlook on life: the world is full of stupid people, and they should all wear signs that say they're stupid. I ought to have one, too, I suppose...

In case you don't know how Engvall's "Here's your sign" bit works, it goes something like this:
Person 1 sees Person 2 doing something and asks a question stating the obvious. Person 2 then responds with an opposite answer than Person 1 was expecting. An example would be today at lunch when I pushed my empty rice carton away from me and my friend questioned, "Did you eat all that rice?" I responded with my usual smartass tone, "Nope, poured half of it on the floor and ate the rest." While my friend is anything but stupid (hi!), I really did want to hand her the "I'm stupid" sign.

Don't know who Engvall is? A little bit of observational comedy to hold you until tomorrow:

No comments: