Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Jaggy's WinCo Rules

1. If it takes you more time to bag your groceries than it would to eat them, you are not allowed in the store.

2. If you can't fit your shopping items into one cart, you're buying too much.

3. There is no such thing as a "quick trip" to WinCo. You will wait in a line inversely proportional to the amount of time you want to spend in the store. If you want to be in and out of the store quickly, the line will be long. The bigger your rush, the longer the lines.

4. The more you plan to purchase, the farther away you will have to park.

5. Just because you've been putting off taking your cans and bottles back to the store and finally take the time to do it means that everyone else is going to do so as well. If you have six cans to return, you'll be the first one in line. But because you have six bags to poke into the already-full machines means you have to wait for three other people who have even more cans than you do.

6. Inevitably, your cart will not run in a straight line. You will fight it through every aisle.

7. Someone will have parked their cart (overfilled, mind you) directly in front of the one item you desperately need, and you will have to wait several minutes for them to realize they are in your way. And they'll take it personally when you ask them to move.

8. Your fruit or meat will be mangled from being handled so much by grubby paws and little kids.

9. There is no such thing as a clean WinCo store.

10. There are no baskets, no way to move about the store unencumbered, and no way to avoid the lines. Not even at 3:00am when nobody else is in the store. You will wait in line behind seven other people in the one open checkstand. And the woman in front of you will smell funny.

(This is supposed to be a humorous rant--I actually do like WinCo and shop there often.)

1 comment:

MissKris said...

I don't have a WinCo conveniently close so I go there only if I'm shopping retail nearby. I love their Apple Cinnamon Muffins! And they had some great yogurt-covered pretzels for a while. I dunno WHY they don't get U-Scan lanes in there, or have express lanes...but my BIGGEST gripe in any grocery store...as with drivers...are cell phone talkers who plant their bods in the middle of an aisle and are so absorbed in their conversations they don't even hear you ask if you can get by. Or maybe they CHOOSE not to hear you. But that's the reason I absolutely detest how cell phones have taken over this country!!!!! Now, there's MY rant for the day, haha!