Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Getting over the me-me-me's

Sometimes I have to tell myself to get over myself already. How can one person possibly be so hard on themselves? How can one person be so constantly negative and self-assured at the exact same moment? Ugh.

Someone recently told me that they believe I have low self-esteem. I instantly balked. I got defensive. I put up fa├žades and stacked the walls so high even I couldn't see over them. But later that night, as I was escaping to my shower, I began to remove those false fronts and let the walls crumble. Maybe he's right. Maybe I don't believe in myself enough.

I want to blame others for my faults. I am still that little girl who wants to kick and scream and cry when she doesn't get her way. I can't stand losing or admitting I'm not perfect in every way. It's all about me, right? Right? Then the adult in me takes over. I keep those tantrums on the inside. I am humbled daily by acts of kindness and wisdom far beyond anything I could have expected. I try to be responsible and hope that my actions have positive consequences.

It's hard.

I'm not very good at getting over myself.

But I'm trying.

1 comment:

MissKris said...

It comes with age, darlin'. Maturity. But there are still bazillions out there who never have matured and STILL throw their little hissy-fits. Hollywood is filled with them.