Tuesday, August 12, 2008

No disrespect, but... seriously!

Call me an equal opportunist... I happen to believe that everyone deserves respect until they prove otherwise. I'm saying everyone. Unless you're in jail 'cuz you did something really bad, you will probably still have my respect. Even people I don't particularly like I still respect.

HOWEVER!

There is a fine line between respecting you as an individual in your own space and bending over backward to make you feel respected everywhere. Some examples I've recently encountered:

...The woman in the grocery store who stank up the entire aisle with her eau-du-rubber-tires-in-cabbage perfume. I respect your rights to (a) stand there yakking loudly on your rhinestone encrusted iPhone directly in front of my Macaroni and Cheese without noticing my frantic motions to move yo' ass, and (b) to wear the entire bottle of perfume in one day. But, I will not tolerate you telling the person on the other end of your ear-bling that I'm making faces and eavesdropping. Sheesh!

...The woman driving in front of me down Kings Boulevard on the way to work while putting on makeup. I respect your right to (a) apply makeup, and (b) to operate your vehicle. However, doing both at the same time endangers not only your own life, but also mine and the lives of all other motorists, cyclists, and pedestrians within crashing distance of your clown face. And when you had the gall to honk at the truck in front of us and shake your fist because his gentle slowing caused you to get mascara in your eye... oh, how I laughed!

...The individual at Subway who insisted that every single vegetable be lined up precisely on his sandwich. I respect your right to have your sandwich with so much food on it that it falls apart each time you pick it up. I do not, however, respect your right to hold up the line so long that I end up missing half my lunch-hour waiting for your pickles to be aligned by the pimple-faced lackey behind the counter. And I still can't believe you made him measure your mayonnaise!

Respect, indeed.

3 comments:

MissKris said...

There are so many things to drive us all crazy, aren't there? I know especially what you mean about those who do their personal 'toilets' in vehicles, tho...that drives me batty. Why not get up 10 minutes earlier and spare us all the sight of them? The weirdest I saw was a woman at the gas station a month or so ago brushing her TEETH while her car was being filled up. Have they no pride whatsoever?!

The Guy Who Writes This said...

I wonder what they were thinking, or if they actually think at all.

Jen said...

Beautifully put. And though, if life didn't have all these "problems" there wouldn't be any fun to it. Then again, life would be so peaceful.