Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Are you a Giver or a Taker?

[Editor's Note: This is the second post by guest blogger Rachel, a friend of the editor. We were recently discussing our current and former relationships when we realized we're both givers, do-ers, and generally ask-nothing-in-return-ers for the various acts we perform as part of our girlfriendly/wifely lives. We both have wonderful men standing beside us, and this post isn't directed at them. That said, neither one of us would turn down a kindhearted act in return for the work we do out of love.]

Have you ever seen a friend in one of those relationships where they seem to give everything to the other person and get nothing in return? Have you been in one of those? It seems much easier to see it from the outside looking in. These giving individuals may cook or clean, or always plan the dates, or just simply be there emotionally more often. The other person may appreciate the kind acts, and they may even say so once in a while (but not nearly enough). The taker may not even realize they do it. They can justify it by saying the other person "knows that I love them," or "I appreciate it everything they do, why do I have to say it?" Givers give because they want to: that's how they show their love. They also need to have the takers acknowledge it, or even *gasp* give something in return. It doesn't have to be money. It doesn't have to take a lot of time. It just has to be given, without condition.

My husband knows I hate folding laundry. When I come home and see my clothes folded, it means more to me than a dozen roses!

An interesting way to look at givers and takers and what you are/need in a relationship is Love Languages. Are you a giver or a taker?

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