Saturday, November 15, 2008

No More Cheese for Me

I know I've talked about a lot of weird stuff here, and this post will pretty much be as far as I'll take things when it comes to insinuated gross stuff. Apologies now. At least you didn't live through this like I did.

For a while now, I've known that cheese and I aren't getting along. I don't drink milk, and I don't eat cheese apart from the occasional string cheese or whatever cheese is on a pizza. Tonight, Kevin and I made a DiGiorno pizza for dinner. As soon as I'd eaten, I started to feel a little weird. He stuck around for a little bit before heading home. Within a minute after closing the door behind him, I realized I'd better head for the bathroom. Ugh.

Twenty minutes later, still nothing. I've waited at bus stops less time. Seriously, my legs went numb waiting for pizza revenge. So I opted to take a shower, relax in the tub, and spend some time deep breathing. Except every breath made my abdomen hurt worse. Even changing positions caused serious pain. I considered calling my boyfriend to come back and take me to the hospital. Pain so bad I cried (and that is saying something).

I crawled to my bed, ready for any physical reaction possible to my cheesy pizza adventure. I tried to get comfortable, tried to stop the agony, thought of dialing 911 myself but remembered I'd have to get up to unlock the door to let the EMTs in and moving that far would be horrible. I couldn't read. I couldn't think. The rumbles started. Oh boy.

I swore. I prayed. I cried some more. I will not describe the experience, but suffice it to say that I am never eating cheese again.

2 comments:

whit-o-roni said...

maybe it's not the cheese... it was the pizza. cause sometimes food that comes in "boxes" aren't always the best.

Michael said...

When my friend was 5, the babysitter gave him some milk to drink and he got sick. The doctor proclaimed him allergic.
My friend kept with a strict diet until the year he turned 18 or so. He ate a bowl of ice cream thinking it was his usual milk-free substitute... with no side effects. This time, the doc said that 13 years ago he was given spoiled milk.


Try getting checked out by the doc, and try some higher-quality milk products as experiments.

Please, do it for the ice cream. Think of the ice cream!