Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Shaving Incident

I like to think of myself as a generally intelligent woman. Common sense, some reason, and a college degree might also convince you that I'm not a complete moron. But this weekend, I did something I (1) never thought I'd do, and (2) that probably wasn't the brightest idea.

The night before Emily's wedding, I took a shower. I shave under my arms every day, but somehow the only thing I managed to forget was my razor. It was brand new, still in the package, and sitting on the counter with my other stuff... and I forgot it. So I got out of the shower and told my boyfriend that I was having a shaving issue. Knowing that I'd be in a nearly-strapless dress the next day meant not shaving was not an option. He's a smart guy, too, and he wanted to help, so he suggested I use his electric razor to shave under my arms.

Common sense? Reason? Where are you? It made sense in my head: if a guy can use the electric razor to shave thick stubble on his face, I can use the same razor to shave the stubble under my arms. It made sense when we discussed our options aloud: it's still shaving, right?

WRONG. It did, in fact, cut my tiny bit of hair. Well... it cut most of it, but it took skin with it. Even if I had a dull, bent blade in my manual razor, my underarms would not have looked so mauled. I had scrapes, scratches, and all-out cuts.

Then, in my incredible genius, I decided that applying deodorant would help the matter by calming things down. OH NO! It made my armpits burn and itch like nothing else. I was ready to scream. I washed that stuff off and put on some neosporin. That was greasy, but at least it didn't hurt as much.

The Boy cleaned his razor, and I have mostly healed since the Incident. Ladies: never, ever, ever try to use a man's face razor for anything other than his face. Lesson learned!


cm0978 said...

I'm sorry, but this was a very funny entry. I was fortunate to learn about not applying deodorant after shaving from high school PE class. Another girl had shaved under her arms, then applied spray-on deodorant and learned the same lesson you did. One of the few things I learned from PE -- also that girls who were well endowed seemed to like to stand around naked more than those of us less shapely.

chris farrell said...


Jared said...

Not related to shaving, but underarm related, After a LONG day for some people (namely me) it is not recommended to spruce up ones deodorant with a different brand, not knowing that the 2 different brands might create an unforeseen reaction, I went for 3 days holding my arms up so the skin wouldn't touch. Consider it a major life lesson learned the hard way!

Snowbrush said...

Total bummer. You've taught me something I didn't know and will probably never need to know, since I'm a guy, and I don't use an electric razor. I'll tell my wife though in case I should die, and she should remarry to a guy who does.