Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wedding Rant: Marriage Preparation is Lacking

The total cost of a wedding is now in the tens of thousands, on average. The typical length of a marriage barely extends to the length of time it takes to pay off the wedding debt. Does that make sense to anyone? Not me.

One of my biggest peeves with weddings now is that a couple spends more time preparing for their wedding than they do for their marriage. Weddings are a ton of work (I know, I had a DIY affair). But marriage takes longer hours, and many (many, many, many) more tears and unbridled laughter to work.

Our wedding preparations included a few full days of shopping and planning, and I think we could have been done with everything in one month if we squished it all down. Yup, twenty or thirty days of hard work. However, our marriage preparations included Pre-Cana classes for four weeks, battles over wedding decisions, discussions late into the night about what we wanted from each other and in our marriage, and countless moments of hilarity. All told, those moments added up far beyond our simple month of wedding prep. I knew my husband as an acquaintance and "light" friend for four months, a very close friend six months before we started dating, and we dated eight months before we became engaged. Our engagement lasted an additional eight months. It's safe to say that we knew each other on our wedding day. Of course, I'm still learning new nuggets of "what?!" about him now, but that's expected (he likes McDonald's sausage biscuits, but he hates sausage... a new development).

I'm not saying that every couple has to be just like us. I would like the point conveyed here to be that people should spend more time thinking about the future years rather than concerning themselves with a single day, a few infinitely small hours of craziness. In the end, it's not simply a wedding, it's the very first day of a marriage. That fact is something which, in my experience, seems to fall through the cracks.

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