Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Think About It After You Read This

I've had sex on the mind lately, but not like you're thinking.

When was the last time you saw sex portrayed in movies or on TV or even in conversation as anything other than lustful, selfish, overly physical, domineering, fake, or greedy?  Really think about it.  When was the last time you saw sex in the media as a normal occurrence between a husband and wife?  I'm not talking a full-blown action scene, just a casual reference. 

I've never seen nor heard of sex--outside of the textbook-style conversations in school--as anything other than "a duty," a weapon of controlling the other spouse, a shameful act, an immoral urge, or a subject of gossip.  I've never heard of two married people engaging in sex without having fought, begged, or bemoaned about it first.

Because people don't talk about it.  The people in control of the media know that "normal" sex doesn't sell.  Only plastic, airbrushed, model sex sells.  The natural act of intimacy has been so tainted by Hollywood that anything other than 100% perfect interactions is unacceptable.  The MPAA would have me believe that sex is two people kissing, falling onto a bed, and then waking up together.  It's so unacceptable to show marital relations that only limited intimacy can be presented.

Yet it's 100% acceptable to show a man blow another man's CGI head off, squirt fake blood around a room, and then have CSI come in and determine what happened.  It's okay to say the F-word hundreds of times in a movie, but it's not okay to show someone "doing the deed."

I'm not trying to be down on sex.  On the contrary, I'm just wondering why "normal" sex is bad, but our culture is obsessed with it anyway.  We dare not show it in its full glory, but a half-nakkey woman on a billboard is good.  Sex is immoral outside of marriage, so we can't even talk about it with anyone but our spouse, but half of marriages fail, and one of the biggest things couples fight about is sex.  Really?

All I can figure out is that, from the time I was old enough to know what sex was, I've seen all manner of media portrails of unhealthy relationships: what people are doing wrong, what they can do to make their sex lives better, what celebrities are doing about it, and all manner of perverse periphery.  But I've never seen the media actually discuss real sex.  Flabby, squishy, messy, smelly sex complete with failed attempts and dual success and everything in between.

Because we can't talk about it.  That would be bad.  It would be bad to admit that we're human and not perfect and not airbrushed and not censored.  Golly.


MissKris said...

I read this quote once and it's stuck with me ever since because it's true:

"The mind is the most powerful sex organ."

Jules said...

The ONLY tv show that I recall depicting sex in a 'good' way was the Cosby Show, and even then it wasn't shown, of course, b/c it was a family show. The allusions to it however were positive, between two relatively normal married people.
But, I know we talk about it more with our kids than ever was talked about with us;