Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Apartment Maintenance Goof #84395

I swear I saw the maintenance guy breathing and walking at the same time once, but I have no proof that occurred.  Judging by his latest attempt at repair in our apartment, I could very easily have been mistaken.

This summer has been warm.  Too warm for my taste.  The heat has also made our apartment door unhappy.  The door began to stick a little in July, and by the end of August we had to slam our door with our full weight behind it just to get it to close.  The deadbolt didn't come close to throwing the full length.  Oh no, it gently rested upon the strike plate and called it good.  Our front door's biggest security feature was the vast amount of effort it took to open the door.  Yay.

We let the weather cool down for a couple weeks, you know, doing what it eventually does in Oregon, but the door didn't relax.  The door became even more angry.  One day it just wouldn't close.  I was terrified the neighbors around us were going to get mad at the noise, so I broke down and called in the... "experts."

I gave the complex permission to enter our apartment and fix the door while I was at work.  Upon arriving home one day last week, I was greeted by a front entry mat covered in wood dust.  I put my key in the lock, gave it a twist, and it gave easily.  The door opened with no creaks or groans, no using of a sprint and shouldering the door open.  Slick.

Aaaaand that's when I looked up and noticed that the bonehead struck again.  He shaved off our door casing!  Rather than gently shaping the top edge of the door, he de-weatherized our door.  No more paint, no more weather strip, nothing.  The only thing between the door and the door frame is sunlight.

Are. You. KIDDING?!

But the deadbolt goes through the strike plate now.  Some tiny part of me considers this a success considering there are three holes in the door frame from the "handy" people attempting to get it correct.

Just before we left for Seattle, I did a solid lock-down of our apartment.  Windows shut and locked, doors shut and locked.  We take security seriously at Chez Jaggy.  I locked the handle lock, pulled the door shut behind me, and went to lock the deadbolt when I discovered our new and exciting door feature: the bottom lock is useless.  If you lock the bottom lock and pull the door shut--completely shut--you can simply push the door back open.  Unless you use the deadbolt, our front door is no more secure than an open one.

I don't know what Bozo McFixy did to our door, but it's just as bad as it was before he mangled it.  I am terrified to call the main office and have them send him back out to try again (that'll be four times since we moved in just one year ago--and the seventh time total for our apartment).  I don't think I can handle another bad job.  Makes me think that I should go into the construction business just to sort people out on what not to do.  ARGH!

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