Sunday, October 09, 2011

I am NEVER Calling Apartment Maintenance Again

I can't make this stuff up, people.  In my wildest dreams, I had no idea people could be this stupid.

In June, as temperatures became warmer in Oregon with that whole "summer" thing approaching, The Man and I elected to fork out $50 to have our apartment complex maintenance crew install our air conditioner.  $50 well-spent I figured, what for the coolness of our apartment and the cooler heads that follow from not having to monkey around with installation.

Our last apartment complex (last summer) managed to get the same unit installed on a second-floor window with three screws, an L-bracket, and some weatherstripping.  It wasn't necessarily a pretty job, but it was incredibly secure and absolutely watertight.

Packing tape, not actually stuck to anything.
Our current complex?

*shakes head in dismay, long loud sigh*

From somewhere they acquired a plank of siding and cut it to fit the exact same size as the base of our air conditioner.  They opened our window, removed the screen, set the siding on the windowsill and sort of cantilevered it with a flimsy bracket that was more-or-less attached to the siding slab.  They set a badly-cut piece of the worst looking plexiglass above the air conditioner so that it was on the inside of the window frame. The window was "secured" into position with a thumb screw.  The plexiglass and air conditioner were then secured to the window with packing tape.

Why didn't I tell the world about this installation job last June?  Because anyone could have stood outside our apartment and realized that if they pushed on the plexiglass they'd have full access to our entire apartment.  We're not even talking a hard push.  Just enough to break the packing tape seal.  The air conditioner was only attached to the plug in the wall, not one other thing.  It could have simply been picked up and moved out of the way for robbers to slide in through the window.  Yeah.  You wanna know how safe I felt at night knowing all of this?

Fast-forward to October.  We're through the warm part of the year and have a couple-hour window between rain showers.  Yay for it being fall in Oregon!  Yay for the rain!  Nay to paying our apartment complex $50 to remove the air conditioner.  I'll just do it myself.
Thumb screw decoration, not
actually screwed into anything.

The thumb screw holding the window in position?  Pure decoration.  It wasn't actually attached to anything.  It was just sitting there on top of the window sill.  The packing tape?  Only attached to the window.  There was no seal between the plexiglass and the top or wall side of the window as the tape never adhered to the caulking or paint.  Which is good, I guess, since I didn't have to remove any goo from the caulk or paint, but horrible in the sense that all sorts of bugs and critters could have just crawled right in.

After unplugging the air conditioner and noting that it was not attached to anything, I asked The Man to lift the unit off the crappy siding slab.  He did so, and I backed out a couple screws and picked up the ultra-flimsy piece of waterlogged siding.  I spent a good few hours cleaning the windows inside and out, installing the screen again, and then another couple hours scrubbing the crud off our air conditioner before we put it away for the winter.

BUT WAIT!  IT GETS BETTER!

When they put the air conditioner in, the maintenance guy cut our window blinds.  Rather than moving the vertical slats to the side and calling it good, he cut the blinds to fit around the air conditioner.  Fine, we thought, he grabbed other slats and kept our original long ones in storage with our names on them.

Wroggedywrongo!

I called last week to see if they had our slats available for us to pick up since I took out our air conditioner.  Yes, you heard me, I took it out all by myself without assistance from a big, strong man-type person.  Yes, I denied the complex my $50 by doing so.  No, I don't need someone to put the screen back in, that's already done.  Can I just get our slats back please?  Oh, you want the maintenance man to install them for me?  Hell no.

So The Man and I went down to the main office on Saturday to pick up our slats.  Which they didn't have.  But they could send a maintenance man to install them.  We told them to have him place them inside our door, remember, the door that doesn't lock correctly because they've tried to fix it three effin' times!?


Window blind slats, delivered by monkeys?
We arrived home late last night to find the seven slats buried between our couch and our bench seat.  Sort of an odd place to put them considering "next to the door" or "on the bench" or "on the dining table" or "out in the middle of the floor" all seemed like much more logical places to put them to me.  But whatever, he squirreled them away inside our apartment.  Fine.  Thanks.  I grabbed them and went to put them up when I noticed the mud and crud smeared all over them!  Every slat was disgusting.  There was mud on both sides of each slat, some dried, some sticky.  Of course I grabbed my camera, snapped a dozen photos, and cleaned the slats off before I hung them.

That was about when the light caught the difference in color between our new slats and the old ones, so I knew right away that these new slats clearly aren't ours.  It's so obvious that it is comical to look at them from the kitchen.

I'm glad our security situation has improved.  For that I'll sleep a bit better at night.  But the odds of me ever calling for maintenance help again are still greater than the odds of them doing a job correctly the first time.

1 comment:

Linda G said...

with all the problems you have with this place, have you decided to look for another complex. I know housing is tough in your city, but how much can one put up with, without going crazy?