Thursday, January 12, 2012

One Very Pokey Day

Today wasn't exactly a bad day, but it certainly wasn't a great day.  I liked being off work.  I really liked sleeping in.  I enjoyed editing photos, and I ate great food.  However, I had two appointments today that were less than thrilling.

I started off my day at the gynecologist's office for my annual stab 'n' jab.  This being my fifth time going, I was pretty sure I knew what to expect mechanically.  But, as is typical of my life, I got to see yet another new doctor.  Nothing quite as much fun as showing your most intimate bits to a complete stranger, right?  I was pretty nervous about meeting the new doctor, but she was fantastic.  She didn't rush me through or make me feel stupid even once, and though the whole "scraping my brains out from down below" part wasn't fun (is it ever?), it was my most pleasant annual exam ever.

Until she determined I needed to have a tetanus shot.

Yeah, that pretty much kills a day right there.

The "nice" shot lady came in with her little needle full of serum, an alcohol wipe, and the cheapest looking band-aid I've ever seen.  Beautiful.  She hiked my sleeve up to my ear, wipey-wiped my arm from shoulder to elbow, and started chatting me up.  Which is good, I guess, to get to know someone before you fill their arm with antivirals.  She asked if I'd ever had the HPV vaccine, and I had, so she informed me that this shot was way less painful.  You know how when someone tells you "this won't hurt a bit!" and you kind of want to punch them in the nose?  Yeah.  Wanted to.  But thankfully my brain-to-fist filter was working.  She rammed that needle into my arm, smushed all the goo into my muscle, and smeared more of that burny alcohol wipe all over the hole she'd just poked.  It hurt.  My arm hurt.  She was right, though, it wasn't as bad as the Gardasil shot, not even close.  And I'm good for another ten years.

I rewarded myself with lunch out because, well, what do you do after having a stranger shove her hand up your hoo-ha and another stranger shove her pokey thing in your arm?  Lunch.

The afternoon was quiet until I had to go see my eye doctor.  I usually like going to the eye doctor.  That's where they give me things that help me see better.  And by better I mean at all.  I sailed through the exam, not needing a different prescription for once!  This is huge news considering the slow decline I've had since I was seven years old.  The doctor requested that I allow him to dilate my eyes, something I am usually okay with, but after a tetanus shot and that other procedure from this morning, plus having friends over tonight, I wasn't exactly willing.  He insisted.  I gave in only because I knew it was a painless procedure.

I sit here, about three hours later, my eyes so huge that only a sliver of gold is visible on the edge of my iris.  My head is pounding, my vision is completely wonky, and I just want to sleep.  The Man will be home soon expecting me to make dinner.  My arm is starting to ache.  And I was hoping to be able to play some video games or quilt or do something--anything--productive tonight.

Thankfully we're having ice cream sundaes tonight.  I think that means the day is on the upswing.

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