Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I Shouldn't Argue with Stupid People

Okay, first you need to go watch this clip about Pig Newtons by Louis CK.  He's a comedian, generally hilarious, and rather profane.  This clip will help you understand my rant.  Don't like swearing?  Sorry.

So recently I've found myself arguing with stupid people.  It pains me to go home at the end of a work day and explain to my husband how I--yet again--beat my head against a wall of stupid.  He humors me and helps me understand where I should exercise patience or click my brain-to-mouth filter back into place.  Slowly, ever so slowly, he's helping learn I shouldn't argue with stupid people:

"Jaggy, we're out of labels to run through the typewriter.  Can you order me some more?" should not have been followed by, "You know you can print labels using a label printer, right?" but should have been replied to with, "Yes, of course I will get you more labels that you can hammer away on using a typewriter from the stone age.  I'd be delighted to place an order from Bedrock Labels.  Would you like a papyrus and quill pen set also?"

"Jaggy, can you take some pictures of some people with my camera?" should not have been followed by, "Um, no, see my cell phone has a better camera than that thing, so maybe we'll use it instead." but should have been replied to with, "Absolutely, I'd love to use your 1.2 megapixel first-generation "digital" camera to capture pixelated images of some people.  We can even use this "flash" to create spectacular red-eye effects and blow out all color in the foreground!"

"Jaggy, here's a check, I think we need to deposit it.  I don't know who it is from, what it is for, or where it should go.  But I successfully deposited one exactly like this last month." should not have been followed by a blank stare.  That's all I could do.

Maybe I am learning not to argue...

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