Friday, May 20, 2016

Housewife for a Year: A Review

The Man and I have been reading books together since our dating days, and we typically read books by one of our favorite authors, Fr. James Martin. This recent one is no exception, and Becoming Who You Are stuck with me more than usual. The book discusses the idea that when we act upon our calling, life feels more complete. Not a new idea, certainly not, but Fr. Martin finally puts the idea in a way that doesn't sound trite. The book struck a chord with me because I've been feeling that way since I became a housewife. I feel complete in this role, and it took me by surprise.

If you had asked me two years ago if I'd be happy being a housewife, I would have laughed in your face. Hell no! I would have said I'd be bored, I'd be in debt, I'd be miserable. I most definitely would have railed against the rampant laziness of a childless housewife, the need for all able-bodied adults to work, Work, WORK! and bring in an income.

Fast-forward to this week, the one-year anniversary of my first days as a housewife. I'm not bored, not in more debt, and not miserable in the least. I'm not lazy, I do work, and while I'm still childless, that may change soon enough (not a hint, just a hope). I find myself defending domestic activities as valuable to families, railing against third-wave feminism (another story in itself), and explaining over and over that a career does not define a person.

It's weird to think that a life that included a university education would lead me to being a housewife, but I use my education more at home than I ever did working at the same university. I get to be a scientist at home when I work on food science to make better bread or when I create the best homemade kitchen cleaner to clean up said bread experiment. I get to be a leader and project manager when I plan for our vacations. I am able to utilize my past experiences and training more as a housewife than anything else I've done--and that's exciting and fun.

I finally feel like I'm not fighting against my nature to be something or someone else. I'm not pretending to be a loyal employee during the day and cursing my manager at night. I'm not faking my way through interactions with people that I'd sooner ignore completely. I'm not chained to a desk for nine miserable hours, stuck at a place doing things I don't want to do. I am using my natural talents and skills to the benefit of my family, which makes my husband happy, and I'm thrilled too!

This last year hasn't been a cakewalk, but every step felt like the right one. Despite many people opining in an unsupportive way about my role as a childless housewife, The Man and I have persisted with this arrangement, and we're in agreement to maintain my position as long as possible.

I'm becoming who I truly am. That's pretty awesome.

1 comment:

The Man said...

as long as you're not cursing your new manager at night i'm ok with this